Artist Residency in Portugal.
17th July - 30th August.
My Residency in Portugal, Lisbon started with me trying to find my feet.
Eventually the work with the dough progressed into a live performance with a dialogue as follows:
Making dough why didn’t my mum send me to art therapy? I think to myself as I reflect on the chaos of my life and notice the total calm I feel now as I need away.
I feel calm watching the transformation of salt water and oil and flour turn to this soft structure integration
Its smooth and soft
Breathing in needing out
Breathing in my need to need
Breathing out my need to need
The table that I needed on earlier today squeaked like lovers in bed
In and out up and down
Losing my fingers finding them again wrapping around it moving into it pulling, pushing away just to dive in again
The intimacy of me losing myself in it
Spreading it out
I need it
Why do I sometimes hold on for ages when I clearly need to go to the toilet?
I position it
I position the dough in front of my vagina
And slap it and hold it
I am happy with this place
I let it go
The other day I ate 7 chocolate biscuits a croissant a packet of Doritos a kit kat a chicken salad and a coke and a coffee
I think I was pre menstrual that day
This dough reminds me of skin
Like my stomach
Protects me it holds my insides in
The other day I walked into the chemist and because I needed some Vaseline I was making a cast of my arm so I asked the pharmacist for vasoline I made a gesture like this
He didn’t speak English so I thought the gesture might help
Here I will show you
Telling this guy I needed to make a cast of my arm
He had no idea what I was saying
He just looked at me I just looked back
It wasn’t until I left that I thought ,that might of looked totally odd to him
Breathing in the need to need breathing it out
My farther liked Elvis
Love me tender love me sweet never let me go
You have made my life complete
And I love you so
Love me tender love me true
All my dreams fulfill
I place it again in front of my vagina and I pat it and slap it
I slap it again
This time im really going to let go and see what happens ……….